Threesome Failures

Threesome Failures

Dear Experimenter,

You’ve read me writing about how peaceful threesomes are and about how to manage them pre, during, and post.

Well, sometimes it just doesn’t happen. Even if everything is in order (like being in bed with two girls you are fucking separately who know what you do).

This is what happened to me not long ago: I was in bed with two german girls. They both came to see me in Paris but had no idea there would be other women. When they met, they accepted it with little surprise because it is f*** congruent with who I am.

I was on the sofa with one of the girls (fucked many times already, but hadn’t seen her for 6+ months or so) when I casually told her: “I’ll pick up a friend now, be right back.”

So I went to the metro station and the other girl (let’s call her V) was waiting for me.

It had been one full year since last time. 5 mins in I tell her “I’m with a friend”. She was sucking my dick on the stairs 10 minutes later. I couldn’t fuck her because condoms were inside the house. I didn’t want to come in her mouth because I wanted to save it for both of them.

So we calm down and get into the house. I introduce them and act like there’s no big deal. I make her leave her stuff in the bedroom and say “We’ll sleep here” (they were both coming for a few days).

They are cool, I pour some wine, we relax in the kitchen. They are both german and I don’t speak any, but I tell them it’s forbidden. Girl A (the one who had arrived the previous day) respects it more than V. When you introduce two women and they both think or know you’re also fucking the other it’s amazing how fast they screen each other out:

  • So, how did you know each other?
  • Ah, and for how long?
  • Really? When was that?
  • And what do you do in life?

It’s like a competition. They also both made whatever story we had together sound cooler. Casually, I had been in Budapest with both of them in the past (independently). V didn’t spare a detail. 10 minutes in I leave them alone catching up.

I think this step is key and should happen at some point during the night.

Then we’re on the sofa. But damn it, it’s already 3 or 4 am and I have to work in the morning. The mood is going down. No sexual tension, no spikes, and we were out of wine.

Let’s go to bed. We all step into the room. They put on their girly pajamas. I get naked to put on my pajama pants. No comments. They each take a side, I lay in the middle, lean over V on my right, kiss her and switch off the light. I’m rubbing A’s pussy with my left and shortly after also V’s, after a bit of mini resistance. She can’t help it, and they are both wet. It’s dark, but not dark enough to prevent A see me making out with V. She acts offended like a little girl and turns her back on me. I sigh. I start fingering V with my right hand. She can barely hide her moaning. I put my left arm under A and flip her around. Under the blanket, I feel her hand going for my dick. It’s on, I think. She knows I’m fingering the other girl and she’s coming for my penis. I make out with her, but she puts her head back when she sees V is kissing me on the back of the neck. I don’t want to turn my back on her too long, I want to divide my attention and A is taking too much. Still, my dick is in her hand and when I feel V’s hand going for my dick too, I stop her.

I don’t know if this was a mistake, but I want things to go smoothly. They don’t. There’s no open drama, but I feel A’s mood getting sour. “Fuck it, I have to reward the girl who is into the threesome (V)”. So I tell V to go to the sofa in the living room, I’ll be there shortly. She complies. I switch on the light, close the door and tell A (she looks sexy half-naked, wet and her cheeks are red) I’ll go to the living room and fuck V, I’m ok if she doesn’t want to be a part of it. I lay my hands for the condoms and when I’m about to walk out she grabs my hand from the bed.

Are you going to go to the living room and bang her instead of staying here and banging me?

The highlight of the night. I smile and look down at her. She’s like a desperate puppy. Her eyes are sparkling and her skin is glowing. “I want to fuck V, and she’s into this. You don’t want to. What am I supposed to do?” But blah blah. It gets too technical by then. Too much logic. I try to use only a little to talk her into. Big mistake. She tells me I can fuck whoever I want when she’s not in the house.

I think I gave up by then. I go to the living room. V tells me that she’s up for it with any girl but this one looks a bit stiff. She’s right. I kiss her, take her to the room and we all lay down. I try to sleep to no avail. With one woman at each side, it’s just too warm, so I grab my pillow and end up sleeping on the sofa alone. Player problems.

The next day after work, V tells me she changed her ticket to leave that afternoon. I come home and A has prepared a delicious meal. V won’t be joining, she had some plans at a market or something. She’s this nature tree huger girl and I like that about her. I fuck A afterward like there’s no tomorrow. V gets home a couple of hours before her train leaves. I tell A to grab a bottle of wine and go to the pier. She says “I was thinking about it, so I let you two hang out.” She voluntarily leaves the house so I can fuck V. I like A, but she’s a cold bitch. She can love you without you realizing it, and she has a hard time complying. She’s too proud for my taste. Anyways, this was a nice gesture.

Of course, V doesn’t want to fuck. I think my value dropped after the failure the previous night in her eyes. After a bit of talking, I get her naked on the bed sucking my dick. She tastes it and immediately says “Did you just fuck A?” Damm, I didn’t wash properly. “Can you get out of your head and enjoy the moment?” It works. She swallows my dick like there’s no tomorrow. I like comparing the way girls suck my dick, and when it’s only been an hour difference it’s easy. V’s mouth is bigger and also deeper, but her tongue is not that fleshy. I’m fingering her and shortly after I put on a condom and fuck her.

Then, I walk her to the metro station and let her go. I’m a bit sad, I think it’s over after the threesome failure. I sent a feeler text a few days later, no answer.

UPDATE A MONTH LATER: yep, she’s gone. At least for now.

UPDATE AUGUST 2018: no, she’s not gone at all 🙂 soft nexting works wonders.

The next day is A’s last night. We’re having sex constantly during the day but the last night something goes wrong. It all starts when we meet this guy on the bar. I advise you strongly against being nice to guys in bars when they have no girls and you do. But sometimes I can’t help feeling easy-going and unaffected. So we talk to this guy a little, he was nice. Then I say “let’s go outside” to A and start walking, but she stays talking with this guy. I turn around and shout “A, vamos”. She can hear it, but she still stays with him without even looking at me. I don’t understand girls sometimes. So I go out and sit on the terrace with my glass of wine, feeling a bit like shit. Honestly, I don’t care any of my girls speaking to any guy, but when I say “come”, they should be there. So I tell her when she comes shortly after. “But blah blah he spoke german bullshit excuse.” Here’s a good rule of thumb: when girls talk after you say something important, it means her brain didn’t process it correctly. A good reaction after my sentence would be “Sorry” and silence. But she can’t shut up. I give her a last chance. “I don’t care you talking to other guys, but you doing what you just did means that when I tell you “come”, you won’t be there for me.” Maybe a bit overly analytical and pretentious, looking back on it. “But I don’t care what you care, the important thing is what I care about.” “What?” “You heard me.”

She was right. I did hear her. I feel the word Next revolving in my mouth. I finish my wine, stand up, and head home. A bit afterward she tries to fix it (“it’s our last night, are you going to be mad at me blah?”) a few times, but it’s a done deal for me. I don’t even look at her for the rest of the night, just go to sleep and see her go the next day with relief.

Threesome.jpg
This didn’t happen this time..

This is a classic example of a threesome attempt gone wrong. I lost or had to let go of two girls on my rotation* within two days after attempting. May it be a cautionary tale for all of you fellas trying to get double blowjobs: be ready to let any of the girls go. If your life will be shattered if she leaves you, don’t try a threesome with her. Of course, if any woman has this power over you, you’re in the wrong blog. 

How can you reach the IDGAF (in general) state about women?

By being comfortable alone.

How can you be comfortable alone?

By knowing you’re alone by choice and you can get some girls on rotation within a month.

In other words: an abundance mindset over a foundation of skills, vibe, and approaching.

If you master these four, no girl leaving can affect you drastically.

Don’t get me wrong, you’ll still be sad to see them go. It will affect you. But it will be little more than a superficial wound.

And you need to risk those to get the sweet kind of threesomes.

That will tell the tale. 

SHAWN

*UPDATE AUGUST 2018: correction; they are both back on the rotation. I can safely state that if done right (from the right frame and mindset), you will not lose a girl for attempting a threesome or foursome even if it fails.

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