After a kiss close in a bar, and two dates escalating (once in the bed) in a two months an a half period + 2 or 3 10 minutes phone calls and a total of 10 texts:
Italian Waitress (dramatic, emotional, after a 2-3 weeks silence):
Hello Kaw. I know you were waiting for me to call this time but I didn’t. I thought a lot about what I want and what I don’t for myself. I spent almost half a year flirting with boys: I tried but I don’t like it. I have my needs like everyone but I am not like that; having sex with people I don’t know for what? Superficial experiences that don’t leave anything important. I know you will understand and you won’t care. So do I. We just don’t mach and that’s it. Good night 😉
Kaw (the next morning):
I miss you too. 18h00 in your corner?
18h30, I can’t make it before. And I have to be at the bar at 20h00!
During the one and a half hour date I take her home, tease a little bit, beat some token LMR and HS her.
Tom Torero’s: Change Her Emotions, not Her Mind.
BEST ADVICE I EVER HEARD ABOUT WOMEN:
Just play your cards, don’t lose your frame, and wait. Treat a 10 as if she was a 7: always treat them like you are not afraid of loosing them. Keep it cool and don’t get into boring or deep topics until you’ve fucked her 20 times. Wear a condom. Keep feeding the funnel: text girls while being with girls. Even if you have a girlfriend. It’s healthy to have new young women come in and out of your life constantly. Above all, have fun.
There are two big things “digital nomads”, freelancers, online marketers and entrepreneurs don’t talk about. One is Family. The other one is Discipline. It’s my favorite word.
You see, once you GO ROGUE. there will be days when you won’t feel like leaving the bed.
In fact, I have the theory it’s most days, for most people.
Even if you are the owner of the company. Even if you are the drive behind the project.
Now I don’t know why this is. And you don’t know either. Maybe you are rich already. Maybe you have enough. The first good new is I don’t need to know why. I don’t judge reality. I adapt my strategy to it and hustle. I can solve a problem even if I don’t understand its root cause.
The point is it’s a bothering feling you have to fight against (and win) every day in order to get your side hustle up in the air.
So we need to come up with a way to override that hurdle, because your goals, and who you want to become as Man are on the other side. The second good new is I found a way to do this.
I’ve written massively about it in Experiment&Standardize:
These are the best articles about Discipline & Productivity.
In fact, the very name of Experiment&Standardize comes from the thought that the more processes you put on auto pilot in your life the more free you are.
FREEDOM THROUGH DISCIPLINE.
Many people hate companies. Old companies suck. They make a slave out of you. They have strict timetables, lots of rules and limitations. A law firm will demand a 15 hour daily shift of everybody in it. HR makes sure everybody is on time and look like they are working. I’m pretty sure it’s one of the reasons digital nomads exist in the first place.
Of course, this creates massive inefficiencies. Like people not being very productive or checking facebook for two hours out of eight, when they should be working.
But it’s also the main reason why companies WORK. In every company there is a system that forces workers to show up. Not to work, not to be productive, not to be brilliant. Just to show up.
“If I’m not dead or in a coma, I show up.”
Then, the unwilling worker thinks: “since I’m here, I’ll try to make the most of it.” And magic happens. You start producing. You outline the business plan. You cold call ten leads. You start executing your selection process. Even if you didn’t feel like it in the first place.
Magic happens. People work even when they didn’t feel like it in the first place.
It’s like going to the gym or boxing. Didn’t you ever wake up and think:
“Damm, I really don’t feel like being punched in the face this morning.”
Of course you have. Cassius Clay did. Connor McGreggor does. Great athletes. Still human.
What made them succeed is they still went to the gym. It’s also what will make you accomplish your gym goals. You just go to the locker room and think: “since I’m here, I’ll try to make the most out of it”. Then you just read your pre-scheduled excercises or do what Coach says.
Being productive is being productive in any area of your life. Also at work.
Now we’re trying to get the best from the corporate world and apply it to our entrepreneurship lifestyle.
The problem to solve is that when you go freelance you have no “skin in the game” to put in the hours. At least not as much as when you worked in a company.
The problematic is: what are those specific features/facts/specs that make people show up in a traditional company (that you don’t have now you are an entrepreneur)?
THE SECRET TO PRODUCTIVITY
The Ultimate Guide to Keep Being Productive When You Don’t Work in an Office Anymore
I’ve identified the factors that make companies work and how you can implement them into your freelancer routine.
Let’s start with the basics. Companies are not only money making entities. They also have at least one physical place attached to it.
It’s the reason people sometimes say “go to the office” instead of “go to work”. At least they do in Spanish.
Physical places massively influence our feelings and motivations (remember the locker room example before?). If you are in a working space, the ambience will make you feel like working.
Therefore, don’t try to put it the hours your start up requires from the sofa of your comfy home. Make it personal to leave the house and go to the office everyday in the morning. Don’t think what you will do once there, don’t ask yourself why. Just go.
Go where? Well, rent your own office, find a serious looking coworking space, share an actual office with other workers. But go to a working place. Not to a café. Not to a room in your house. Not to the sofa.
Move your body. Commute. Walk. Bike. Take the car if you must. But remove yourself from the house and go to a working place.
I read somewhere that the secret to finding your passion in life was asking yourself: “what would you do if you were forced, at gun point, to leave your house everyday?”.
Well, this is the answer. Go to the office, whatever your office is. Every morning, you go to the office.
You use the sofa for sex, chilling and jumping while dancing to a music your neighbours hate. Not for working.
N#1: Associate WORKING with a PLACE different than home by displacing your body to that “OFFICE” everyday.
In other words, you need a PLACE to show up at in order to be able to show up for work at all.
This will set your mind in a working mode. You will get there and meet other people that work, which takes us to the second point.
N#2: Go WORK where other people WORK everyday.
It’s the reason cafés don’t work for working (pun intended). That and having to leave your laptop and papers unattended while going to the bathroom.
You need the social pressure of showing up or you won’t always show up. I don’t care if you think you are not influenced by people at all. It’s a lie. No man is an island. You want other people to see how much you work, even if they have no idea what you are working at. You want to talk about football by the coffee machine during your breaks, even if you know nothing about football. You want to feel a sting if you are checking facebook or texting girls while everybody else is working. And my favorite, you want to feel amazing if you are alone in the office, still putting in the hours at 23 pm, while everybody is at home resting.
Amazing things happen when many people are working together in the same space.
Don’t make this a solo trip. I learned this the hard way. If you have more than 3 workers in your company (meaning you are 4+) I would still be in a big office with more people.
It’s very easy to stop being productive if you are working with three friends in a basement. Instead, go big. Go work with more people even if they belong to another company. Cool stuff can happen, like meeting somebody you are interested in (professionally or personally) or that word many people talk about but nobody really understands: s-i-n-e-r-g-i-e-s.
We’ve emphasized four things in this guide so far (I know, I also hate it when it’s more complicated than just following the bullet points).
The Movement of the Body (from Home (or wherever you wake up, bastard) to the Office).
The Power of Showing Up.
The Place per-se (The Office).
The People in The Office).
Two to go. This is by far my favorite.
Did you ever put an ironed, fresh shirt on and instantly felt better? Do you like taking care of your shoes? Here’s how to do it properly:
Nurture the leather
Wipe so it’s absorbed
Spray some shiny protector on it
You get what I mean. Any respectable office has a dress code. It’s one of the things I liked about working corporate: dressing my best everyday. It made me feel empowered, amazing, capable of anything.
It may be Casual Business, like the crazy guys at Google Inc, but it’s still a dress code. If you follow my advice 100%, dress like a PIMP to be more productive. If you don’t like the PIMP analogy (researching google images I only found shiny clowns) dress like my friend Alphonse:
Make it a ritual to wear your three pieces suit. Enjoy how people treat you when you look your best. Get used to it. And think about this:
“If you put so much effort showering, dressing your best and showing up at the Office where other people are working, are you really not going to be productive?”
So unless you are some code cracking hacker with a world domination plan in execution:
N#3: Dress for WORK.
Somebody told me once: “It’s not creative if it doesn’t make you money.”
I say “it’s not work if you can do it in your pijama.” It’s not serious business if you don’t have to dress up. Actually, 80% of a Man’s work could be reduced to dressing up and showing up (and maybe not talking too much). Because once there, surrounded by other workers, social pressure and your own logic makes you lock in, start up, hustle, get down to it. It makes you work.
DRESS SHARP TO FEEL SHARP.
Even if you are not 100% in. Even if you’re not the most efficient while working.
Sometimes it’s not about how productive you are but about how many hours you put into being “a little” productive.
These rules are the basics. I will expand on the accessories some other time (like having a cool place to work at, sleeping the right way or making it easy to wake up by preparing the perfect breakfast, or working on something that challenges and pushes you, or having good women back at home to recharge your batteries with).
There is a last rule and it’s a reason it’s last. Sin ambajes:
N#4: Make money.
Frequently overlooked. It doesn’t matter if you’re sucking from a fundraising pot. Make sure you’re cashing in all this effort. Your bank account must be growing NOW or real soon.
If you are starting up and it drags in time (stalls?), without external funding (i.e. a salary for the founders), you should not look to keep it up for more than 3 months.
It’s not good for your reputation. It’s not good for your brain. It’s not good for your feeling of self worth.
Whatever you do, it should be worth it.
Finally, fellow entrepreneur/digital nomad, remember that you will be most productive the less you travel. Accept it. Routine is needed for productivity.
That is not to say you can’t alternate really productive sedentary weeks with short less productive trips elsewhere.
But, isn’t that similar to working from Monday to Friday and then take a plane on the weekend?
I want to have a house that I can decorate with all the beautiful things that I collect during my travels!
I used freelancer.com for a long time for graphic and web design and development.
But recently, I used fiverr.com for a social media graphic design.
Once I set the language to English, I started getting many offers for the project. I recommend this way of working (“custom order”) rather than browsing for workers and then paying them beforehand/upfront before knowing if they’re up for the task or if they can actually deliver on time.
5$ seemed wrong so I offered 10$.
90% of the bidders were from India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka.
I chose a young girl because her portfolio was less disastrous than the rest. Her price was 6$.
I was not satisfied with the design delivered, but I was with time delivery (about 30h) and the customer service. It was next level. She’s still offering me changes on the design and asking what she should change. She’s after my rating (The Review System works), but also after my satisfaction.
Now, I know she can’t satisfy me. She has no taste whatsoever for European design.
What she can do is outwork europeans and do it cheaper. Much cheaper.
And she provides great customer service. And so did the other freelancers I hired on both platforms.
Freelancers on these platforms will provide solutions:
Cheap & Fast
Poorly designed for Western standards
Amazon-like customer service
Nobody wants to do it where you live (I’m thinking boring database grueling red tape)
It’s also a great pool of talent for many fields. We live in amazing times for entrepreneurs.
However, they are not the right choice if:
Your project requires lots of revisions and feedback (you should find someone you can talk with face to face)
The project requires other language than English
Your specs (requirements) will change constantly
It’s design related (unless you are lucky or you don’t really care about design)
In any case, you will find tons of young motivated workers eager to take on any of your projects.
Por último, una idea. The day this 20yo Indian graphic designer gets a grasp on european taste, she will become rich.
I usually took girls home. My parents house. I didn’t live there, but I would visit on holidays and weekends. No big deal, and also it gets your logistics straight, because you can pull to your parents house.
But my mother had other plans.
When mad, which happened everytime somehting was not of her liking, she would moan and rant about my “girls”. How they followed me around, how they were not “real women” who could make me “settle down” (I was 21 back then, hell).
Once she tried to “talk” me into not bringing girls home. I said that I would leave the house and never come back, because being with girls is only natural. I despised her for this sad attempt. No real Man can live in good terms with his mother while at the same time living with her.
Months went by. A few encounters in the corridor, or by the doorstep. Nothing too awkard. Some girls came over more than once. She would try to chat them up, and they would reciprocate out of courtesy. I would always end those exchanges as fast as possible, because I saw no gain in them. This I’ve discovered growing older.
One of these exchanges though involved my mother being pissed off because a girl was staying for a couple of days at my place, without me telling her (or anybody, for that matter). My nature is ice. I mean I don’t kiss and tell, or whatever the expression is, nor I inform non relevant people of my plans. This has proven to be a problematic strategy* and perhaps also the origin of this blog.
So my mother goes on ranting (so the whole house can hear how mad she is), while I grabbed the girl and headed for the door. I forgot something in my room so I left the girl alone for a second by the doorstep. When I came back one minute later, my mother was yelling at her something along these lines:
“Because you have to stand up to MEN! If you don’t, they will treat you like shit and not respect you!…”
Only reviving this sequence is uncomfortable to me. My girl was looking at her a bit terrified because she was grabbing her by the wrist. I swallowed my contempt and took the woman outside. We were followed by my mothers shoutings.
There was no real damage, as this was a solid woman whom I had been on a MLTR for over 3 years, and I don’t lie to girls. I didn’t give the act any relevance in front of her. But deep inside, I started considering my mother a threat for my girls and the lifestyle I want to live.
I can’t imagine what a living hell a young man’s life can be if he doesn’t have the balls to stand up to his mother. I’ve seen Indian guys in this situation. And Chinese. And Skinner from the Simpsons. All small Men.
Also, I know what I will tell the women I chose for bearing my kin:
Young university Spanish brunettes are back and fat american girls are gone (tourists). In these days of more bearable weather and autumn fashion, streets are pleasant to walk in.
A funny thing has been happening to me lately:
There was a line at the butcher’s yesterday. There were two girls waiting and someone else talking to the clerk. When the clerk was done, he ignored the girls and talked right to me:
“How can I help you sir?”
The women, who were first in line, looked at me and said nothing.
There was also a line at the bank, a few days ago. A tall older Man in a suit was looking at his phone close enough for me to ask: “Are you in line?” He looked at me, startled, and babbled while jumping aside:
“What? No, sorry, thank you.”
I have a few more examples (at the gym, in the street) but you get the idea. Random people accommodating to me for no reason.
It’s true I’ve been lifting, I dress sharp and I’m quite tall and bearded. But there’s something else:
Gravitas was one of the Romanvirtues, along with pietas, dignitas and virtus, that were particularly appreciated in leaders. It may be translated variously as weight, seriousness, dignity, and importance and connotes a certain substance or depth of personality. It also conveys a sense of responsibility and commitment to the task. In the British education system, gravitas was seen as one of the pillars of the moral formation of the English gentleman during the Victorian and Edwardian eras.
Gravitas is the reason some older men, despite being in poor shape and not tall, command instant respect. It’s an aura. You can’t fake it. It tells people around you mean business. Even if you don’t. I’ve seen it in the eyes of people around me. It makes me feel proud of being a Man.
Some women also have it. But only when they are really old and venerable. As Men, we can develop this faster. It’s our responsibility to use this power wisely.
I was at a Google Campus talk two days ago. The host opened by talking about creativity.
“Because creativity and new ideas come when you get out of your comfort zone.”
My time honed bullshit detector (intuition) was triggered.
You see, I have identified events or things that make me have good ideas, bad ideas, average ideas and amazing ideas and many of them are inside my comfort zone. Here are some things you can do if you want a creativity boost. If it works for me, it will probably work for you too:
Do nothing. Like not even working. Idleness is paramount for new ideas to come. This is overlooked in mainstream self help.
Do not play video games. It numbs your mind, kills your motivation, and makes you forget what you wanted to do.
Travel. Road trips, planes, trains, boats. The less you have to do in said trip the more ideas you will have. Also new landscapes, towns and people refresh your mind and give you new perspective. This is why people who have seen the world are more valuable.
Make sure you put some of these ideas to practice. An ideal creative lifestyle would combine periods of traveling, hard working in the city, and idleness.
And a really bad lifestyle would be routine work 5 days a week and solacious idleness for the remaining 2. Two days are not enough to unplug. Once a year is not enough unplugging. Think about this.
MONOGAMY FOR PRODUCTIVITY
I’ve mentioned this before. How much more would you be able to do if you eliminated women from the equation you life? If you weren’t busy spinning plates, texting, daygaming, meeting them in bars etc.
Of course, you don’t want to eliminate women from your life. Leave that to MGTOW delusional chodes. But the above thought makes me understand monogamy better.
There is a way to drastically reduce the time your brain is thinking about women. Which is getting one and forgetting about the rest. Mindfucking yourself about not gaming other women and refuging from the consequent nagging of your own wife in work.
It’s almost like monogamy was invented in order to make us, Men, more productive.
And since monogamy is a Christian invention, it probably was.
I’m here to tell you not to forget about Women. A less productive life is a small price to pay for an abundant life with women.
In these days of telegraphs and steam, many important inventions and improvements in every branch of trade are being made, and he who don’t consult the newspapers will soon find himself and his business left out in the cold.
P.T. Barnum, 1870
This was written 150 years ago and still applies today.
Change “telegraphs and steam” and put “internet and cheap planes”.
The evolutionary drive that makes societies go forward is always linked with the cost of transport– of people, merchandise and information.
We live in amazing times. We are able to do amazing things that our grandparents (even our parents) never dreamed of.
However, an invisible barrier separates the Youth from their goals.
Just like our ancestors didn’t have Ryanair, Airbnb or Social Media, they had something many young Westerners lack:
SKIN IN THE GAME
It took me years (maybe too many) to figure this out. It strikes me as evident that life was harder as little as 50 years ago. Work was required for you to achieve your goals, and if you failed, there would be dire consequences: public failure, bankruptcy, social shaming.
Nowadays, failure is praised. Furthermore, nothing happens if you “do nothing”. I may be a little biased because I always was a rich kid. Let me put it another way:
It is possible to live a “comfortable life” without risking too much or doing too much, and it will be OK.
Because there is a safe way out of achieving your goals, it’s easy to fall back and “chill, man”. You won’t starve, you won’t suffer, you’ll be OK. If you don’t come from an middle to upper class family, the State is there for you to guarantee basic minimums.
In some way, this is the first enemy of big endeavors of the past. Let me link this with another concept:
Ambition killers is anything that gives you solace and relaxation when you should be working. It’s a very well camouflaged barrier between you and your goals, and should therefore ideally be removed mercilessly if you want to strive.
AMBITION KILLERS FROM THE PAST: Gambling, whoring and drinking.
You needed money for the three of them, and they had one good thing: you cannot linger in these temptations for long, for money runs out, and so does your attractiveness for women, your budget for poker and your wine.
CURRENT AMBITION KILLERS: Video games, social media, Netflix (extra: instant messaging, porn)
Videogames: they are just too many good video games to not play at least one of them at some point. “It’s art”. Art that keeps you stuck to a screen for hours. Some video games even reach the “cult” status and are revered by the Men of our generation. Age of Empires anyone? Others poison your mind by making very bad ideas look attractive. Call of Duty anyone? Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
Social Media: how many Men are glued to their portable devices due to Instagram, Twitters and the like. Let me tell you something you already know: a Man does not take selfies. These platforms MAY* be interesting from a reaching audience, business point of view, but still are used to have a glance at other peoples lives, or worse, to portray a version of ourselves that we think is attractive. The “news feed” is poison for the mind. Stupid Youtube videos are poison for the mind. I always kept social media very in check, so fortunately this is not one of my sins. But read on, for I have many others…
TV SERIES: Game of Thrones, Vikings, The Walking Dead, but also The Simpsons, The Big Ban Theory, Better Call Saul… So much high quality content is being uploaded everyday. It’s art. You could spend a whole day watching chapter after chapter of The Soprano and not notice the passage of time. Series were used to make kids stick to the TV in the living room while parents did other stuff. Don’t be a kid. Don’t watch series. Use this time to be productive by boxing, going to the gym, working on your business or dating women.
People say these AMBITION KILLERS are “leisure”, because too much work is not good, and because “chill, man, you only have one life”. I say that’s exactly why I don’t chill.
If your balls are big enough, remove these AMBITION KILLERS from your life and use the time that will magically pop out in your life to pursue worthy goals. To plan and execute your will to become a better, more powerful Man.
What is an appropriate “leisure time” for you, you wonder?
Let me list some of the things I do for leisure:
Trips in the nature.
Sailing/open sea swimming.
Moderate wine drinking with friends (also some wild nights out).
Eating fine foods in restaurants.
Visit old buildings in my city. Learn about its history.
Dress as a 1920’s Gentleman and ride my 1920’s bike around.
Riding my motorbike (small road trips).
Theatre (not movies) or spectacles like opera, stand up comedy or anything that makes you leave the house and socialize.
You get the point. Manly stuff. Real stuff. No screens involved.
Remove Ambitions Killers from your life like you remove dust from your cloak. Be a Man of focus, intent and sheer will, and reap the benefits of an interesting, productive and healthy life lived with purpose. You owe this to your ancestors. We all do.
Extra AMBITION KILLERS:
Instant Messaging: call it what’sapp, telegram or any son of a goat personal information gatherer in the market. NOTHING IS FOR FREE. App developers do their work for a reason. If Instant Messaging is free for you, there are other ways they are getting their revenue from. This is normal, but marketers did a good job making us think information transferred through hotmail, Skype or Wechat would be confidential. As a general rule, anything you post, send or write on the internet can be used against you, sooner or later in one way or another. A Man should not forget that.
Porn: go out in the street and chase women. Talk to them, get rejected, learn, then go again. If you find yourself jerking off to a screen, you have a problem that is twofold:
First, you are depleting your energy reserves. There is a reason you feel asleep after sex: sperm is pure energy. It’s pure power. The whole sex act is a metaphor of the women depleting you of your will and energy so you stay longer. And it’s beautiful. Here’s my take on it: save your sperm for women who deserve it. Don’t masturbate to internet porn.
Secondly, you are training your body to a three minutes session of sitting while wanking to strange predetermined scenes. That is not what sex looks like in most cases. Sex is a wild exchange of fluids, shit, piss, blood and sweat. Real sex is not safe. Real sex turns us into animals. That’s the sex you want to enjoy, not the artificial porn stuff. Put otherwise, your penis will not work so good if you wank to internet porn, for your brain will be fogged, your expectations altered and your body misused.
Now shut down your computer, turn all the screens off and go do something manly.
*The correlation between a high number of social media following and a successful business has not been demonstrated to this day. That means many traditional businesses lack social media presence and yet make money and thrive.