The Day My Mother Cockblocked Me

It happened a few years ago.

I usually took girls home. My parents house. I didn’t live there, but I would visit on holidays and weekends. No big deal, and also it gets your logistics straight, because you can pull to your parents house.

But my mother had other plans.

When mad, which happened everytime somehting was not of her liking, she would moan and rant about my “girls”. How they followed me around, how they were not “real women” who could make me “settle down” (I was 21 back then, hell).

Once she tried to “talk” me into not bringing girls home. I said that I would leave the house and never come back, because being with girls is only natural. I despised her for this sad attempt. No real Man can live in good terms with his mother while at the same time living with her.

Months went by. A few encounters in the corridor, or by the doorstep. Nothing too awkard. Some girls came over more than once. She would try to chat them up, and they would reciprocate out of courtesy. I would always end those exchanges as fast as possible, because I saw no gain in them. This I’ve discovered growing older.

One of these exchanges though involved my mother being pissed off because a girl was staying for a couple of days at my place, without me telling her (or anybody, for that matter). My nature is ice. I mean I don’t kiss and tell, or whatever the expression is, nor I inform non relevant people of my plans. This has proven to be a problematic strategy* and perhaps also the origin of this blog.

So my mother goes on ranting (so the whole house can hear how mad she is), while I grabbed the girl and headed for the door. I forgot something in my room so I left the girl alone for a second by the doorstep. When I came back one minute later, my mother was yelling at her something along these lines:

“Because you have to stand up to MEN! If you don’t, they will treat you like shit and not respect you!…”

Only reviving this sequence is uncomfortable to me. My girl was looking at her a bit terrified because she was grabbing her by the wrist. I swallowed my contempt and took the woman outside. We were followed by my mothers shoutings.

There was no real damage, as this was a solid woman whom I had been on a MLTR for over 3 years, and I don’t lie to girls. I didn’t give the act any relevance in front of her. But deep inside, I started considering my mother a threat for my girls and the lifestyle I want to live. 

I can’t imagine what a living hell a young man’s life can be if he doesn’t have the balls to stand up to his mother. I’ve seen Indian guys in this situation. And Chinese. And Skinner from the Simpsons. All small Men.

Also, I know what I will tell the women I chose for bearing my kin:

“You give me the boy, I will make the Man.”

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Gravitas, Creativity and Monogamy

Madrid is getting better.

Young university Spanish brunettes are back and fat american girls are gone (tourists). In these days of more bearable weather and autumn fashion, streets are pleasant to walk in.

GRAVITAS

A funny thing has been happening to me lately:

There was a line at the butcher’s yesterday. There were two girls waiting and someone else talking to the clerk. When the clerk was done, he ignored the girls and talked right to me:

“How can I help you sir?”

The women, who were first in line, looked at me and said nothing.

There was also a line at the bank, a few days ago.  A tall older Man in a suit was looking at his phone close enough for me to ask: “Are you in line?” He looked at me, startled, and babbled while jumping aside:

“What? No, sorry, thank you.”

I have a few more examples (at the gym, in the street) but you get the idea. Random people accommodating to me for no reason.

It’s true I’ve been lifting, I dress sharp and I’m quite tall and bearded. But there’s something else:

GRAVITAS

Many Men acquire Gravitas as they age, and I’m no exception. It’s the “thing you’re going after in your 20’s“.

Gravitas was one of the Roman virtues,[1] along with pietas, dignitas and virtus, that were particularly appreciated in leaders. It may be translated variously as weight, seriousness, dignity, and importance and connotes a certain substance or depth of personality. It also conveys a sense of responsibility and commitment to the task.[1] In the British education system, gravitas was seen as one of the pillars of the moral formation of the English gentleman during the Victorian and Edwardian eras.

Gravitas is the reason some older men, despite being in poor shape and not tall, command instant respect. It’s an aura. You can’t fake it. It tells people around you mean business. Even if you don’t. I’ve seen it in the eyes of people around me. It makes me feel proud of being a Man.

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Velazquez always portraits with gravitas.

Some women also have it. But only when they are really old and venerable. As Men, we can develop this faster. It’s our responsibility to use this power wisely.

CREATIVITY

I was at a Google Campus talk two days ago. The host opened by talking about creativity. 

“Because creativity and new ideas come when you get out of your comfort zone.”

My time honed bullshit detector (intuition) was triggered.

You see, I have identified events or things that make me have good ideas, bad ideas, average ideas and amazing ideas and many of them are inside my comfort zone. Here are some things you can do if you want a creativity boost. If it works for me, it will probably work for you too:

  1. Do nothing. Like not even working. Idleness is paramount for new ideas to come. This is overlooked in mainstream self help.
  2. Do not play video games. It numbs your mind, kills your motivation, and makes you forget what you wanted to do.
  3. Travel. Road trips, planes, trains, boats. The less you have to do in said trip the more ideas you will have. Also new landscapes, towns and people refresh your mind and give you new perspective. This is why people who have seen the world are more valuable.

Make sure you put some of these ideas to practice. An ideal creative lifestyle would combine periods of traveling, hard working in the city, and idleness.

And a really bad lifestyle would be routine work 5 days a week and solacious idleness for the remaining 2. Two days are not enough to unplug. Once a year is not enough unplugging. Think about this.

MONOGAMY FOR PRODUCTIVITY

I’ve mentioned this before. How much more would you be able to do if you eliminated women from the equation you life? If you weren’t busy spinning plates, texting, daygaming, meeting them in bars etc.

Of course, you don’t want to eliminate women from your life. Leave that to MGTOW delusional chodes. But the above thought makes me understand monogamy better.

There is a way to drastically reduce the time your brain is thinking about women. Which is getting one and forgetting about the rest. Mindfucking yourself about not gaming other women and refuging from the consequent nagging of your own wife in work.

It’s almost like monogamy was invented in order to make us, Men, more productive. 

And since monogamy is a Christian invention, it probably was.

I’m here to tell you not to forget about Women. A less productive life is a small price to pay for an abundant life with women.

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Some food for thought.

KD

WOMEN

UPDATE September 25, 2017

These are all the Women related posts on this blog. Enjoy them, learn, and approach approach approach.

The Green Light Paradox Applied to Game (how to be motivated to approach more) August 11, 2017

How to Manage Jealousy in MLTR August 1, 2017

The Success Paradox June 30, 2017

How Bad Some Girls are Handling Social Pressure (or how to get a bottle of water for free) June 11, 2017

Threesome Failures June 4, 2017

Lay Report #49: Black Teenager Girl in Paris May 20, 2017

The Switch Off Button for Game April 11, 2017

Summoning Power (throwing parties with women in it) March 26, 2017

You are a woman’s best influence March 19, 2017

Having No Game Will Ruin Your Business Career (Uber and Google) February 28, 2017

The Downside of Having a Bottom Bitch and the Mambo theory February 25, 2017

Value Misjudgment with Women January 10, 2017

A Quick Guide To Unmotivated Daygamers November 23, 2016

The Momentum Curse November 18, 2016

Well Raised Dogs vs Well Raised Women October 15, 2016

Radical Concept: Defending the flag September 10, 2016

How to Have a Boner All DAY Long September 3, 2016

When she Says “I don’t want to have big expectations” and the Masterplan to Polygamy September 3, 2016

How to Barbel Squat a Woman August 21, 2016

Displays of Strength and Masculinity August 21, 2016

Silverback Womanizer August 6, 2016

Lay Report #44 or the Yes Girl July 21, 2016

The Perfect Woman: Introducing Sexual Chemistry July 18, 2016

Shooting Up Close or Why Monogamy is Not Required July 18, 2016

How to Know When You are Losing a Girl July 18, 2016

Relief and Self Entitlement June 30, 2016

Time to EuroJaunt 2016 June 29, 2016

To the End of the World June 11, 2016

Field Report I June 10, 2016

The Sailor’s Funnel (Full Experiment) May 26, 2016

Background on the author May 6, 2016

Availability & Personality over hotness May 1, 2016

Be a Marksman – To a New Life April 18, 2016

There are no rules with women March 9, 2016

Fading March 9, 2016

Don’t Be That Guy January 27, 2016

World Jaunting Gameplan January 15, 2016

On Beijing Women and NG vs Daygame January 7, 2016

How to Screen for Receptive Women December 10, 2015

Introducing Elmer’s Line, Nubile Mean and other metrics for improving your game December 10, 2015

The two kinds of threesomes (+ practical advice on HOW TO MAKE A THREESOME) December 8, 2015

Prioritize Women so You Don’t Have to November 23, 2015

A Word About Seduction and Money October 4, 2015

Skin in the Game, Ambition Killers and Manly Leisures

In these days of telegraphs and steam, many important inventions and improvements in every branch of trade are being made, and he who don’t consult the newspapers will soon find himself and his business left out in the cold.

P.T. Barnum, 1870

This was written 150 years ago and still applies today.

Change “telegraphs and steam” and put “internet and cheap planes”.

The evolutionary drive that makes societies go forward is always linked with the cost of transport– of people, merchandise and information.

We live in amazing times. We are able to do amazing things that our grandparents (even our parents) never dreamed of.

However, an invisible barrier separates the Youth from their goals.

Just like our ancestors didn’t have Ryanair, Airbnb or Social Media, they had something many young Westerners lack:

SKIN IN THE GAME

It took me years (maybe too many) to figure this out. It strikes me as evident that life was harder as little as 50 years ago. Work was required for you to achieve your goals, and if you failed, there would be dire consequences: public failure, bankruptcy, social shaming.

Nowadays, failure is praised. Furthermore, nothing happens if you “do nothing”. I may be a little biased because I always was a rich kid. Let me put it another way:

It is possible to live a “comfortable life” without risking too much or doing too much, and it will be OK.

Because there is a safe way out of achieving your goals, it’s easy to fall back and “chill, man”. You won’t starve, you won’t suffer, you’ll be OK. If you don’t come from an middle to upper class family,  the State is there for you to guarantee basic minimums.

In some way, this is the first enemy of big endeavors of the past. Let me link this with another concept:

AMBITION KILLERS

Ambition killers is anything that gives you solace and relaxation when you should be working. It’s a very well camouflaged barrier between you and your goals, and should therefore ideally be removed mercilessly if you want to strive.

AMBITION KILLERS FROM THE PAST: Gambling, whoring and drinking.

You needed money for the three of them, and they had one good thing: you cannot linger in these temptations for long, for money runs out, and so does your attractiveness for women, your budget for poker and your wine.

CURRENT AMBITION KILLERS: Video games, social media, Netflix (extra: instant messaging, porn)

  • Videogames: they are just too many good video games to not play at least one of them at some point. “It’s art”. Art that keeps you stuck to a screen for hours. Some video games even reach the “cult” status and are revered by the Men of our generation. Age of Empires anyone? Others poison your mind by making very bad ideas look attractive. Call of Duty anyone? Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
  • Social Media: how many Men are glued to their portable devices due to Instagram, Twitters and the like. Let me tell you something you already know: a Man does not take selfies. These platforms MAY* be interesting from a reaching audience, business point of view, but still are used to have a glance at other peoples lives, or worse, to portray a version of ourselves that we think is attractive. The “news feed” is poison for the mind. Stupid Youtube videos are poison for the mind. I always kept social media very in check, so fortunately this is not one of my sins. But read on, for I have many others…
  • TV SERIES: Game of Thrones, Vikings, The Walking Dead, but also The Simpsons, The Big Ban Theory, Better Call Saul… So much high quality content is being uploaded everyday. It’s art. You could spend a whole day watching chapter after chapter of The Soprano and not notice the passage of time. Series were used to make kids stick to the TV in the living room while parents did other stuff. Don’t be a kid. Don’t watch series. Use this time to be productive by boxing, going to the gym, working on your business or dating women.

People say these AMBITION KILLERS are “leisure”, because too much work is not good, and because “chill, man, you only have one life”. I say that’s exactly why I don’t chill.

If your balls are big enough, remove these AMBITION KILLERS from your life and use the time that will magically pop out in your life to pursue worthy goals. To plan and execute your will to become a better, more powerful Man.

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I hunt bears with a bow for leisure and food.

What is an appropriate “leisure time” for you, you wonder?

Let me list some of the things I do for leisure:

  • Bow hunting.
  • Trips in the nature.
  • Sailing/open sea swimming.
  • Moderate wine drinking with friends (also some wild nights out).
  • Eating fine foods in restaurants.
  • Smoke cigars.
  • Visit old buildings in my city. Learn about its history.
  • Read.
  • Dress as a 1920’s Gentleman and ride my 1920’s bike around.
  • Riding my motorbike (small road trips).
  • Theatre (not movies) or spectacles like opera, stand up comedy or anything that makes you leave the house and socialize.

You get the point. Manly stuff. Real stuff. No screens involved.

Screens will fuck up your Manhood. This is the Primal Movement Manifesto.

Remove Ambitions Killers from your life like you remove dust from your cloak. Be a Man of focus, intent and sheer will, and reap the benefits of an interesting, productive and healthy life lived with purpose. You owe this to your ancestors. We all do.

KD

BONUS

Extra AMBITION KILLERS:

  • Instant Messaging: call it what’sapp, telegram or any son of a goat personal information gatherer in the market. NOTHING IS FOR FREE. App developers do their work for a reason. If Instant Messaging is free for you, there are other ways they are getting their revenue from. This is normal, but marketers did a good job making us think information transferred through hotmail, Skype or Wechat would be confidential. As a general rule, anything you post, send or write on the internet can be used against you, sooner or later in one way or another. A Man should not forget that.
  • Porn: go out in the street and chase women. Talk to them, get rejected, learn, then go again. If you find yourself jerking off to a screen, you have a problem that is twofold:
    • First, you are depleting your energy reserves. There is a reason you feel asleep after sex: sperm is pure energy. It’s pure power. The whole sex act is a metaphor of the women depleting you of your will and energy so you stay longer. And it’s beautiful. Here’s my take on it: save your sperm for women who deserve it. Don’t masturbate to internet porn.
    • Secondly, you are training your body to a three minutes session of sitting while wanking to strange predetermined scenes. That is not what sex looks like in most cases. Sex is a wild exchange of fluids, shit, piss, blood and sweat. Real sex is not safe. Real sex turns us into animals. That’s the sex you want to enjoy, not the artificial porn stuff. Put otherwise, your penis will not work so good if you wank to internet porn, for your brain will be fogged, your expectations altered and your body misused.

Now shut down your computer, turn all the screens off and go do something manly.


*The correlation between a high number of social media following and a successful business has not been demonstrated to this day. That means many traditional businesses lack social media presence and yet make money and thrive.

Wine Bottles – Letting Go

WINE BOTTLES

I was about to leave the house for another walk with my dog when I noticed 4 empty Spanish wine bottles on my kitchen counter.

My mind wandered back to last week, and I revived vividly how each of them was emptied:

The first one, with a cute northern girl in one of my favorite restaurants. We didn’t finish it so I took both of them home. Then we danced, we laughed, we had sex. It was a good fun night in the streets of Madrid. I made her live an amazing experience while enjoying myself, and that’s one of the things I love the most about this game.

The other white wine bottle was drank by two french girls I instantly dated one night while walking my dog in the park. We had a good laugh, went to a little terrace by my place and bounced back home. It was close. We met again a couple days ago and it was closer, kissing and touching on the sofa. Maybe next time, maybe never. In game, you can only play your cards and let the chips fall where they may. No second guessing, no remorse. 

One of the Rioja bottles I drank by myself, little by little, a glass or two with most meals. Because Malbec, Syrah, Chardonnay, Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon are for losers when Tempranillo, Garnacha, Bobal o Monastrell are available. Learn about your poison and if you are going to drink, do it well.

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The last bottle I drank with a woman I really appreciated. She was a bit reckless. A woman who had principles, but allowed me to bend them from time to time. A good old friend who came and went in waves, depending on which men promised her monogamy. A woman I understood: I never made it hard for her to leave or come back. A woman I had to gently kick out of my house when she started one of her few drama outbursts. I brushed it off as no big deal at first, but she kept going. I don’t do drama. Stick to your core values and wipe people who try to talk you out of them off like they are dust. Even when “people” means a hot girl you could fuck anytime with many other great character traits and a fun vibe. Sometimes you can’t flinch. Sometimes you have to be stone cold.


I looked at these bottles and realized my kitchen counter was full. So many good, intense memories in such a short time. It makes you feel like you are LIVING LIFE INTENSELY. You also get used to it and start having strange thoughts like: “Did I kiss any new girl this week?”. It’s amazing to live as a Man.

I looked at these bottles, put them in a bag and threw them into the glass waste disposal thing. You have to empty your kitchen counter if you want more empty bottles to fit on it.  No second guessing, no remorse.

KD

The Green Light Paradox Applied to Game (how to be motivated to approach more)

Athenian Philosophers Doing Game in Spain

“So, when crossing the street, you should wait for the pedestrian lights to be green, shouldn’t you?”

“Of course, you should.”

I felt like socrates talking to his young disciples. Only I was on the street, on a windy summer day, walking with a girl, and not in the gym watching young oily boys exercise.

“Meaning, you are looking for an external source-the green lights- to enable, or precede, your next action. That is, crossing the road.”

“Indeed.”

“Well, let me tell you green lights are not what you should look for before crossing the street.”

“What do you mean? Of course, if the green lights are on, it’s safe for me to cross the road, and since it’s my goal, I shall do it.”

“Young Plato, the only thing you should be looking for when crossing the roads is cars.

“But Master! Green lights mean cars will not drive by!”

“Not always. Have you ever experienced green lights being on for pedestrians and cars not stopping?”

“Sometimes, yes, it’s the custom in some less developped countries.”

“Then can we then agree that, in order to preserve our physical security while crossing the road, we should consider all the cases when lights were green for walkers and cars were crossing nevertheless?”

“We shall, because physical security is important for our well being and over all happiness.”

“Of course. You say green lights mean cars will not drive by. Do you know what else signals the absence of cars?”

“What?”

The absence of cars! Therefore, instead of looking for a signal to cross the road, you should look for a lack of life threatening danger before crossing the road. In other words, cross the road if nothing will kill you while you do so, and forget the damm green lights.”

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“I stopped in front of her and told her she looked french.”

Approaching a walking woman is like crossing the road. 

Don’t look for a signal to do it. Look for a signal that you may get killed or hurt if you do. If none of these signals are present (99%), do the approach.

There are game concepts in greek philosophy, mind you.

KD

How to Manage Jealousy in MLTR

“And I’ll go by train with some friends, stay there for one night and then maybe we’ll go to a little music festival…”

I feel.

My mind rushes with explanations, excuses, accusations, and demands. It’s one of my MLTR, but it doesn’t matter. The fact that she’s traveling with friends is almost painful. Who is she going with? Where will she stay? Questions pop up in my head. Questions aimed at assessing the chances of her fucking someone else (yes, it’s a hard harem). Questions I never make, for three reasons:

  • It’s an attraction killer
  • Answer doesn’t really matter
  • She could say anything to reassure me

Answer doesn’t really matter. To my experience, sex can happen anywhere. She could travel with her parents and little brother and end up fucking the tour guide (like I did many years ago), or she could go to Ibiza with all her girlfriends on a hen party and stay faithful.

This is a fact and can be applied to 99% women. It’s up to you to decide how to feel about it.

But that’s not the root issue.

You are thinking your MLTR could fuck someone else, or put herself in the position to do so.

It’s a classic of Harem Management. You feel the sting of jealousy and insecurity.

What do you do? How to walk out of this without losing value? And perhaps most importantly, how to make sure it doesn’t happen again?

How fucked up I am. Luckily for you, I came up with a way to approach this situation systematically without getting into your head and/or doing something that makes her consider other romantic options. Remember, there are always wolves lurking beyond the bonfire range (if some english native has a better way to express that, I’m all ears). Luckily, if she’s fucking you only, all those wolves are weaker or have better things to do.

So, what to do when she tells you *anything* that makes you think she could HS someone else?

The Plan

Harem Management for Advanced Players

SOFT HAREM

If it’s a soft harem, she can and probably will fuck other guys. Deal with it.

But maybe you feel a deeper connection with this girl and fear that she’ll connect in the same way with someone else.

There is a set of tools you can use for avoiding that (like preventing her from doing the plan by suggesting something cooler and taking her with you), but they are short term and all come from the wrong frame.

Since this blog is about pure gold advice, I will tell you the only honorable and manly way out of this:

Be a better Man than her prospects. 

It’s that simple and that complicated. You probably won’t be the best Man on Earth, but you can be the best she has access to. Note: if you think I mean better as in nicer, or better for society, you are in the wrong blog. 

It’s also a good solution because it’s internal and mostly depends on you and you only. She will interact, and assess many men over her years, so just be better to increase your chances of her staying around. 

Also:

  • Don’t open yourself about this
  • Act as if it’s no big deal
  • Don’t ask questions afterwards
  • Don’t try to “change her” over time so she stays at home. Give her wings, always.
  • Decide if it’s worth going though that emotional pain in order to be with her

HARD HAREM

If it’s a hard harem you are running, congratulations my friend. You are in for a crazy ride, although you probably know that already.

The way I look at it is this: that sting of jealousy and insecurity you feel when this happens is the price you pay.

You already are at the top of the pyramid. It doesn’t get any better. But for true hard harem you pay a price.

It’s the same price any other guy (every man thinks “damm, she might fuck someone else” sooner or later, specially monogamous guys). We just deal with it better. 

She may cheat on you and fuck someone else. Fear not. That’s her problem.

Your problem is to keep her attracted and engaged in the relationship in the long run.

This is way harder. Worry about this instead.

Here is what I did when my girl unexpectedly told me she was going on a trip with “friends” I didn’t know:

  • Take it as a nuclear shit test
  • Don’t react or express my concerns
  • Managing my emotions and brushing them off (“it’s the price you pay”, “there’s no cooler guy than me, so even if she fucks someone else and keeps it secret, she’ll still be mine”)
  • Understand her adventurous part is one of the reasons I love her, so I won’t try to change her or shame her into being boring so she can be mine (creepy, but many men do)
  • HS and get affection from other girls
  • Write this article (writing IS healing)
  • Next time I’m with her, tell her a massive DHV story make sure she remembers why she’s with me (by creating situations where you can display higher value) and fuck her like there’s no tomorrow.
  • Next time we talk, collect some extra info (hopefully reassuring) in a fun, relaxed way
  • Go to the gym

I know what you are thinking. If she sees it as “normal”, she’ll do it more often. Yes, she will. And you’ll feel that sting again. And you won’t like it.

It’s your decision to assess how many times she’s worth going through the above process and the negative emotions. Just don’t think any other type of relationship is free from them.

As I wrote before, is she ends up HS someone else, it’s her problem. And if she makes it you problem by telling you, it’s another story for another post.

This is a shortcut that will spare you a couple paranoias and a lot of mindwanking. Just follow the bullet points and trust the process.

KD

Note: MLTR = Multiple Long Term Relationships, HS = Have Sex (used instead of “fuck”)